Cracker Barrel

Blessed are the un-cool

2011-06-17T12:11:00.000-05:00

She Becomes...: Learn a Little, Win a Little~ A Giveaway

2011-06-16T16:13:00.000-05:00

She Becomes...: Learn a Little, Win a Little~ A Giveaway: "A few weeks ago at my local Farmer's Market, I discovered an NGO called The Women Can Ministry . It was the beautiful handmade African produ..."

5x7 Cards

2011-05-29T18:55:00.001-05:00

5x7 Folded Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Laugh from the Past Month

2009-08-09T16:26:00.003-05:00

Could I?

2009-08-06T16:48:00.000-05:00

Could I just sit here a while
Know that there’s nothing that I need to say
Safe in the knowledge that You know my ways
Love me completely no need to hide a thing
       
Could I just stay here a while
Letting You melt away all of my fears
I feel Your comfort when You are so near
I’ll hide myself in this shelter You’ve made for me

Could I
Could I

Could I just kneel here a while
Doing what I was created to do
Bowing in reverence I long to adore You
Willingly giving all that I can surrender

Could I just rest here a while
Letting You whisper my burdens away
In all of my journeys there’s no other place
Where I find refuge strength for my weary heart

June Newsletter

2009-06-07T12:59:00.001-05:00

Since I am home from New Zealand (and finally over jet lag ), this will be my last newsletter.

Please continue to pray for the students and staff as we have all come home and some are still needing jobs and places to live. The Devil is out there coming against us strongly with confusion, depression, old habits, no jobs, etc. Please pray that we stay steadfast in Gods Love to fight the devil off and remain thankful!

Even with these powers coming against us, the Lord is good!!! He is providing our needs.

--
Kandi

For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Is. 41:13

May Newsletter!

2009-05-01T16:34:00.001-05:00

Prayer Requests:
Wisdom on next steps for all students & staff......

--
Kandi

For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Is. 41:13

Risky Business

2009-04-26T21:41:00.001-05:00

Then the time came
When the RISK it took
To remain in the bud
Was more painful
Than the RISK it took
To BLOSSOM.

~ Anais Nin

A Poem

2009-04-26T16:55:00.001-05:00

Time is up, time to go
Back to where I once called home
Back to my fears and failures.
But Jesus is with me,
New strength He provides
To stay close beside Him
To grow as He guides.
A new home He'll provide me
A job and friends, too.
Because He is living
And loves me, so true.

~ Kandi

April Newsletter from Kandi

2009-04-12T17:11:00.001-05:00

Praise God!!!!
The weather has been gorgeous for break - and the trip that Janet and I took to Taupo!

Prayers are being answered.

The staff is rested up for school to start tomorrow.

Prayer Requests:
Continued healing/deliverance. Students are still struggling with illness, injuries and other stuff that God is working out in their lives. I have also been frustrated by a sore wrist and continually twisted ankle.

Wisdom - I will need a job and place to live when I return to MPLS. I am also considering (and praying about!) moving....from MPLS.

Direction! I would like to visit my Compassion Intl child in Uganda later this year........

--
Kandi

For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Is. 41:13

Finally...Time to Write!

2009-03-10T03:11:00.001-05:00

Attached is a little newsletter with tons of photos...there are more, and different ones on my facebook page (if you have one!). If you want to see them but can't, please let me know and I can get a link to you later.

Prayer Requests:
health: i am just getting over a nasty flu, some of the students are now coming down with it.
breakthrus
biking sunday outreach - march 22 there is a bike race arriving in waikanae and the church who sponser's the steiger school here, st. luke's, is have an outreach day at the park for the estimated 1,000 people who have to wait for the bikers. there will be food, coffee, tea, a church service for those interested, child care for parents, and other entertainments. the students are hard at work putting this together. please pray for good weather (it's been iffy lately) and for everything to go well.
for the insanity to stop!!!
better time budgeting - God-Time, sleep, eat, 'work', play....etc.

--
Kandi

For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Is. 41:13

I Love Refried Beans

2009-02-04T16:11:00.001-06:00

Ugh - Lists!

2009-01-30T12:57:00.001-06:00

What do I do when I get overwhelmed and nervous about an upcoming event? I make lists. Lots of them. and guess what? I fly out for New Zealand in 20 days. TWENTY!! That is craziness. I kinda thot it would not come so quickly, but yet it’s coming faster and faster! What to do, what to do!! Answer: MAKE LISTS!! I have 8 started. 3 more that I’m working on right now. 4 completed. And a few more that I will start tomorrow. Thots and questions swirling around in my head making me crazy!! I like lists! They keep the craziness in some form of organized mess. Yikes! Lists are good. Yup!

Going Back? Maybe Not.

2009-01-08T20:27:00.005-06:00

A Need to Know Basis

2009-01-07T08:40:00.001-06:00

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. (hee!)

Tigers have striped skin as well as striped fur.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. (How I wish I could be ‘average’ in this aspect of my life!!!)

A rat can last longer without water than a camel. (ewwwww)

Weeweechu

2008-12-22T11:13:00.001-06:00

It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do "Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

WISHING YOU ALL MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

WISHING YOU ALL A GREAT NEW YEAR!!!

Polar Bear Attack

2008-11-17T07:28:00.001-06:00

Polar Bears are SO CUTE!!

Polar Bear Attack!

These pictures are of an actual polar bear attack in Churchill, Manitoba. They were taken while people watched seemingly humored, and did absolutely nothing to ward off or stop the attack! Reports from the local newspaper however say the victim is expected to make a full recovery.

Cattle on a Thousand Hills

2008-11-14T13:10:00.000-06:00

Dear Keith,

2008-11-06T08:37:00.001-06:00

Happy birthday, bro – wherever you are! Today you turn 26.

Jesus keep you and bless you and watch over you always.

Are you still alive?

Where are you?

What are you up to?

How is life for you?

When will you call?

Love ya. Miss ya. See ya someday?

This I Know

2008-10-29T07:09:00.000-05:00

I like the internet too much. I cannot just not use it, even if I have nothing to do. I sit there surfing mindlessly and wasting time.

Well, no more!! I no longer have internet at home. Not only will I save $50/month, but I won’t be able to waste my time! (or watch NCIS, CSI Miami, Burn Notice or Chuck online L).

We will see if I survive this month.....

2008-10-28T08:08:00.001-05:00

So, this bird walks into a store

2008-10-15T07:27:00.001-05:00

So, this bird walks into a store..... Marinette, WI

A seagull in Marinette, WI has developed the habit of stealing Doritos from a neighborhood convenience store.

The seagull waits until the Manager isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos. Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.

The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Marinette, WI, and helped himself to a bag of Doritos. Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.

The Manager thinks it's great because people are coming to watch the feathered thief make the daily grab and run, and that's good for business, and especially since customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of Doritos because they think it's so funny. However, the Manager did say, 'This is Wisconsin, and if that seagull starts to grab a 6-pac to go along with the Doritos, I may have to put a stop to it.'

Perspective

2008-10-08T12:49:00.001-05:00

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day' [even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days] try this out:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson

is personally tested and then sanitized. '

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, 'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A** THAN YOURS!

Safe or Not?

2008-09-27T13:14:00.002-05:00

The 'safest' place may not be the only place where a person doesn't get hurt - it just means that it's safer than anywhere else!

How to clean a toilet

2008-09-23T07:10:00.001-05:00

This is simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you:

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog

The Culmination...

2008-08-23T22:48:00.001-05:00

...of Bryan's birthday at bluer.

Ha!

2008-08-23T09:57:00.002-05:00

Say What?

2008-07-31T08:17:00.001-05:00

"Models are like baseball players. We make a lot of money quickly, but all of a sudden we're 30 years old, we don't have a college education, we're qualified for nothing, and we're used to a very nice lifestyle. The best thing is to marry a movie star."

~ Cindy Crawford, Supermodel

Cute Joke, Told Many Ways

2008-07-30T07:19:00.000-05:00

~ Two Little Boys ~

After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole.

As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic. "Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!" she asks as she shook the older boy in anger.

"We were just playing 'church' mommy," he said. "And I was baptizing him in the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole-he-goes."

Time to Change

2008-07-29T21:51:00.002-05:00

prayer. it's more than just ask ask ask for what i think i need or just want. it's a way to have a conversation with my creator. not just in church, or on my knees, but when i hear a new and awesome song or a stranger smiles at me or i get a call from a dear friend who i miss tons or take a walk and the scene around me makes my heart beat wildly with the moment Jesus created just for me to see in that moment, a sun set, sun filtering thru leaves, deer in the field, tiny flowers in gardens. and pictures of them all! in my mind and a few on my camera to remember. and no matter how creative i think i may be, my creativity could never come near to matching the wonderful creativity of my God who puts these things in my path to delight me and bring me closer to him. so, i feel silly, but i am excited to travel on this road that Jesus has planned for me no matter.

time to say 'goodbye' to my old wineskin and trade it in for a new one.

Psalm 62

Yours

2008-07-29T19:34:00.001-05:00

by dizmas....

Web source for the latest music: onlylyrics.com
It feels like the sky has never been so blue
But that's not the way it used to be
Because there was a time that I was without you
Before I said that I believe

Ooh I need a savior
Ooh I need a savior

I want to give this up
I want to hold you hand
Take away this fear that's like an ocean in my head
I want to tell you now, What I couldn't say before
You are everything that I was always looking for

So take me where you want me
Take me 'cuase I want to be yours

I've got pride that I still have to break
It's keeping me away from you
And you stay patient while I make mistakes
I'm learning how to trust in you

Ooh always a savior
Ooooh

I want to give this up
I want to hold you hand
Take away this fear that's like an ocean in my head
I want to tell you now, What I couldn't say before
You are everything that I was always looking for

So take me where you want me
Take me 'cuase I want to be yours

In the good and the bad times
Ooooh
It don't really matter
I want to know you

I want to give this up
I want to hold you hand
Take away this fear that's like an ocean in my head
I want to tell you now, What I couldn't say before
You are everything that I was always looking for

I want to give this up
I want to hold you hand
Take away this fear that's like an ocean in my head
I want to tell you now, What I couldn't say before
You are everything that I was always looking for

So take me where you want me
Take me 'cuase I want to be yours

cat conversation to watch when you need a laugh

2008-07-28T17:33:00.001-05:00

Sooo funny. Watch these in order and praise the Lord for cats!! hehe =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3U0udLH974&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkczguZoI7k

Brand New Day

2008-07-28T16:42:00.000-05:00

another one by Fireflight:

I’m waking up
The world is turning
The sun is shining again
I’m holding on
To things I shouldn’t
It’s time to let them go
I’ve been on a losing streak
Hit so hard I couldn’t speak
But when I hear Your voice it fades away

And I can hear You say
It’s a brand new day
The pain goes away
I’m headed for the door
And I’m going home
I’m going home
I’m going home
I’m going home

Your love, it burns
Away my darkness
You guide me when I’m blind
You are the light
That shines inside me
Showing me I’m
So much more
When I’ve been on a losing streak
Hit so hard I couldn’t speak
But when I hear Your voice it fades away

Take me into Your arms
My home lies within Your heart

Unbreakable

2008-07-28T16:32:00.000-05:00

by Fireflight

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight
Can’t face me in the light
They’ll return but I’ll be stronger

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better

Forget the fear it’s just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

Praise and Adore You

2008-07-28T16:31:00.001-05:00

by Wavorly

What I have to say is obvious
A knowledge free, for all of us are
Your Word leaves us with no excuse
The paths we choose make us who we are
There’s a breeze blowing through here tonight

So I praise and adore You
Lay it all down before You
In every way You’re beautiful
From my heart
I praise and adore
You made the world beautiful
I cannot stand and deny
You created life
And some live without it

Wake up morning sunrise in my eyes
At night the moon lights all the sky
(Still some say You didn’t do a thing)
The sound of hope that’s in the air
In everything, it’s everywhere
(Reveals a truth that’s worth remembering)
There’s a breeze blowing through here tonight

It’s true, it’s all You

And every breath I take
There’s no way
Accident created this place

Best of SonShine 2008

2008-07-24T07:39:00.001-05:00

Most Entertaining: TobyMac

Most Anticipated: Jars of Clay

Favorite New Band: FireFlight

Favorite Show: Newsboys

All Time Best: Newsboys

Show to See Again: Dizmas

Unexpected Enjoyment: David Crowder

Funniest: David Crowder

Fun Quote: "Everyone smile!" - Zach, Dizmas

Longest Line: Newsboys autograph line

2nd Longest Line: waiting for the bathrooms to be cleaned

Best Non-Music Fun: blog notes with Socrates

Learning New Things: Socrates taught me Kiss, Hug, Date...

Best Non-Music Entertainment: The Dark Knight

Favorite Purchase: Newsboys sweatshirt

Favorite Food Item: Walk'n'Taco

Most Annoying: Peder Eide 'Sonshine. Sonshine, listen to me!'

Most Annoying: sound problems at Main Stage

Loudest Show: Skillet

Quietest Show: Skillet

SonShine 2008 Recap

2008-07-23T15:31:00.002-05:00

Wednesday the 16th

Good times, good times. We arrived Wednesday morning and it was blazing hot. So hot that my completely frozen bottle of water melted in 30 minutes and the sun screen burned when it was sprayed on. So, I drank the water and put the sunscreen in the cooler. Good times!

We had an awesome spot all picked out and set up right behind the HM Stage. Socrates borrowed some duct tape and taped the second tarp up to the building to form a little tent to sit under. But it fell. And we had to move the tent – it was too close to the building (someone else ended up putting their tent there for the weekend, tho).

So...we had to pull up stakes and move! We went across the walkway to behind a big screen tent with 8-month-old triplets crawling around inside. What fun! They were not happy campers. L

It was getting hotter outside so we melted into our chairs and all over the blanket. In the sun. It was not long, however, before we were nicely covered be shade from the screen tent. A nice, cool breeze also started up and with the added coolness we were able to rest for a few hours before Jars of Clay played.

7:30 finally came and we headed over to see Masi and Jars of Clay. Masi opened for Jars with worship music. They were pretty good, but the crowd where we were sitting didn't really care about them playing so there was constant jabber making it hard to really hear Masi, which really annoyed me. The Jars concert was great, the moon was amazing. Then it ended and Marco Polo started. Oh, HELP! A volley ball game also started right outside our tent. The ball even hit our tent a couple times! grrrrr

Ah, Sonshine.

Thursday the 17th

And then the rain, rain, rain came down, down, down. Everything in our tent seemed wet. Most of it was. Even the clothes in our backpacks! The mattress I was sleeping on had large pools of water standing on it later...

The Civic Center opened at 10, so I'm sure most people were in there. The rain continued pouring until 11. Many people were leaving, some were sitting in their cars (as were Socrates and I) and a few were out walking covered in tarps or blankets.

Both Socrates and I were a bit stir crazy sitting in the car. We couldn't see what time it was (car wasn't running) and the only sound we heard was the rain pattering on the roof. The windows were all fogger over so we couldn't see out the windows or the sunroof. Everything is damp and sticky. Icky. Blah. Hopefully the rain will stop soon. Socrates hopes in time for Dizmas and I hope in time for Superchick and Jeremy Camp. We'll see...

Friday the 18th

Oh, the travesty! Good day. What happened? I don't remember anymore...oh, wait!

Today was a good day. I saw Thousand Foot Krutch and almost Hawk Nelson and Barlow Girl, but after waiting for an hour of sound checks in the sun I decided to listen from the shade of our tent. I have some new CDs from the week: Maron, FireFlight, Wavorly, Dizmas, and some Skillet songs. YAY!!

Katie, you were right – I did like the TobyMac show! I would even go to another one with joy! Heather was very entertaining during the concert as well. Socrates saw Project 86 and she says to tell you that it was hoppin'! That it was raucous and pretty. She makes me laugh! Another concert I thoroughly enjoyed, but didn't expect to, was David Crowder. He was a hoot! I still won't get any of his CDs, tho.

Saturday the 19th

So it rains. Again. And it was creepy cold for July. brrrrr. My, how I shivered thru the night! Socrates and I have also both sustained injuries now. But life is good. J

Socrates is telling me how she beat a kid to the front of the crowd for a concert. She is getting all annoyed all over again. And no one is texting her back! We are going to see Dark Knight this afternoon while we wait for Kutless, Skillet and Newsboys. Then we go home J to shower and sleep. hehe. HELP! WE STINK!

One of the first things I do when I get home: WASH MY GLASSES!!!

Socrates sounds like a Veggie Tales character, "That girl had North Dakota pants on!"

I can really tell that Socrates had sugar for breakfast....if she could bounce around like a little rubber ball in the car full of blankets and clothes and food she would, and that isn't really stopping her! Except...it's her mouth that's bouncing very hilariously...and she's reading over my shoulder and has that funny voice again.

Andrew.....text Socrates back! She wants to shoot to injure you!

I have 4gb of fun pictures and movies which I will upload when I have time...the pictures are done, but I'm still trying to figure out iMovie on my laptop. It ain't so easy!

I must go bring Someone under control before she yells even louder at the 'small child' for smoking...

ANDY!

Must. Wash. Hair. It has been subject to the sweat of millions of people. EWWWW!

Sunday the 20th (in the morning, this all happened last night)

The Dark Knight was amazing! So funny! Not really Janet rated right now, but maybe once I buy the DVD parts can be fast forwarded. So good. Good like Hot Fuzz. J

Oh, sweet bliss! I got a sweet Newsboys t-shirt and so got to meet Jeff, Duncan and Paul! Peter apparently was not yet at Sonshine....Many other people also got one of the particular t-shirts that allowed us to meet the guys, so we stood in line for an hour together. J

Then we got to settle in for Newsboys!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, the wind was against us so we didn't get any of the confetti, but I did get a couple good pictures!

Scare in the Night

2008-07-11T21:06:00.002-05:00

well, i now know what the fire alarm sounds like here in the building.......it woke me up! it took me about 15 minutes to realize that it was an alarm inside the building, not outside somewhere. and then i started scrambling to catch gita (deb's cat) and get to the car to safety...gita was scared, i was scared, and i couldn't get ahold of deb to see how to transport her cat! (she is in MI for the weekend) the alarm turned out to be false, so now i can unwind my guts, quit chasing gita and maybe go back to sleep.

what a night. i hate storms.

how sad

2008-07-09T08:39:00.001-05:00

At my apartment, I have wireless internet. It is not very reliable – it keeps going out! There are many other wireless accounts in the building, and the one open one is more reliable than mine! So, I’m often using that one instead of the one I have. Sheesh!

oh, exasperations!

2008-07-08T08:37:00.001-05:00

The more plans are made to do anything these days the more they change and move about and cancel!! It gets a bit frustrating at times..........I guess maybe I’m learning to be flexible? And to not plan so much and so far in advance!!!

Moving

2008-06-22T15:49:00.003-05:00

This weekend.....I move. out of the air-conditioned basement to a 3rd story apartment with Deb!!
It's been a long time coming. Too long, really. But it's getting closer!! How exciting and scary!

2008-06-09T11:10:00.000-05:00

Be kinder than necessary,

for everyone you meet

is fighting some kind of battle.

Feng Shui Horoscope

2008-05-23T07:06:00.001-05:00

Watch your 'Thoughts,' they become words.
Watch your 'Words,' they become actions.
Watch your 'Actions,' they become habits.
Watch your 'Habits,' they become character.
Watch your 'Character,' for it becomes your Destiny.

Take just a couple of minutes to take this test & see what happens!
If you are honest this tells the truth -- it's pretty good.

Write your answers on a piece of paper, NO cheating!!
The answers are at the bottom.

1. Which is your favorite color: red, black, blue, green, or yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5 . Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

When you're done, scroll down. Don't cheat!

Answers:
1. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is full of love
Black - you are conservative and aggressive
Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
down

2. If your initial is:
A-K - You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R - You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon
to blossom.
S-Z - You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:
JAN - MAR: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
APR - JUN: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
JUL - SEP: You will have a great year and will experience a major
life-changing experience for the good.
OCT - DEC: Your love life will be great, you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will be the best
thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person should be your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you will have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

Why God Made Moms

2008-05-12T08:21:00.001-05:00

BRILLIANT Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1 We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

without you

2008-05-05T21:16:00.002-05:00

i'm lost and weird without you here

laugh

2008-05-05T21:15:00.001-05:00

Pilot's Gripe Sheet

2008-05-05T07:40:00.001-05:00

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that
ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance
complaints submitted by UPS' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions
recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the
only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a
plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. What reassurance for those
of us who fly routinely in our jobs!

GUF

2008-05-02T10:24:00.000-05:00

· A woman was trapped for three days in a New Zealand parking garage elevator. After finally escaping, the garage attendants tried to charge her for three days of parking.

· Police in Cebu City in the Philippines killed a man while trying to prevent him from committing suicide.

· In 17th century China, finely chopped tiger whiskers would be put on someone’s food to torture them. The microscopic barbs on the whiskers would cause the pieces to lodge in the victim’s intestines, causing painful infection.

· A "moment" is actually 90 seconds.

· In Middle English, "balded" meant white; the word survives in the shortened version "bald" which is why the bald eagle (with its white head) is called bald. Dogs who have white spots are called pibald (or "part white") for the same reason.

· Mrs. was originally an abbreviation of "mistress," but now is not an abbreviation of anything, except a woman's single lifestyle.

· The word "corn" is generally used in English-speaking countries to mean the most common grain. Thus, in England, "corn" means wheat, while in Scotland it means oats. What the U.S. and Canada refer to as "corn" is generally called "maize" in other countries.

· Several visitors to the Memphis Zoo in the 1990's demanded to have their admission fees refunded when they discovered that a special exhibit on dinosaurs did not include live dinosaurs.

· Representative Peter Smith of Vermont boasted in a newsletter to constituents that he had "traveled to cocoa-producing countries to again better understanding of cocoa addiction." To think he could have gone just a couple of hundred miles to Hershey, Pennsylvania instead.

· In Iowa, a man was required to turn in his personalized license plate which read 3MTA3. The state claimed that, when viewed through a mirror, the plate read "EATME."

· In 1992, an Alabama man admitted to trying to destroy the wild population of Alabama red-bellied turtles. He did it so that he could get a federal grant to reintroduce the species.

· In Massachusetts, the mother of a boy who died after wrecking a car which he stole sued General Motors and the owners of the car.

· In 1994, a 405-pound man sued Denny’s restaurant for $1.3 million under the Americans with Disabilities Act. The man wanted a Grand Slam breakfast, but no seat in the restaurant was big enough to fit him.

· In 1992, the U.S. Postal Service was the defendant in an employment suit. Lawyers for the Postal Service had to file papers with the court the next day, so they sent the papers via USPS Express Mail service, which promises next day delivery. The papers arrived ten days later, too late to be of any good.

· In 1994, the Telecommunications Commission of Northwest Ohio required TCI, a cable TV provider, to raise its prices 5%. The Commission said TCI’s fees were embarrassingly low.

· In 1992, Canton, Ohio social workers charged a man with child abuse and neglect because his four daughters had cavities. The children were returned only after the man presented their dental records to prove that they indeed made regular dental visits.

· Washington, D.C. police ticketed the same illegally parked car three times in a 15-hour period. Only after a passerby called them to investigate the vehicle did they notice that the car’s engine was running and there was a corpse with a bullet in its head in the back seat.

· Between April 1993 and November 1995, the United States Postal Service engaged in a program of "downsizing." By the time it was over, the number of USPS employees had increased by almost 10%. About 99% of the new employees were permanent.

· The city of Malibu, California has granted honorary citizenship to all whales and dolphins.

· In 1993, the Environmental Protection Agency conducted a study to determine if people were being harmed by inhaling water vapor while taking showers.

· In Clearfield, Utah, city officials wished to discourage the wearing of gang-related clothing. Thus, they banned the wearing of certain items at the 1996 July Fourth celebrations. The items included baseball caps, baggy trousers, and the colors red and blue.

· In the late 1990's the Environmental Protection Agency's fleet of cars for official use consisted mostly of luxury cars (Lincolns and Crown Victorias), and the fleet averaged about 6.3 miles per gallon of gasoline.

· In 1994, two women in Minnesota were ordered to stop giving free haircuts to the poor, a service they had provided for ten years. The women didn't have barber's licenses and the state Board of Barber Examiners didn’t like that. The women faced jail time if they did not stop.

· The U.S. Federal Government General Services Administration has, since 1990, used the private company Federal Express to carry all of its overnight mail, rather than the U.S. Postal Service. FedEx offers overnight service to large customers for lower rates than the USPS does. The GSA renewed their six-year contract with FedEx in 1996.

· It takes three Philadelphians to change a light bulb at the Philadelphia International Airport. According to civil service rules, a building mechanic must be called to remove the panel, an electrician must be used to actually change the bulb, and a custodian must be called to sweep the dust.

FAKE vs. REAL

2008-04-30T08:47:00.001-05:00

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. / Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you

REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say 'I'M HOME!'

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock out the person that talked bad about you

Edith Easter

2008-04-30T07:23:00.000-05:00

Edith Burns was a wonderful Christian who lived in San Antonio, Texas. She was the patient of a doctor by the name of Will Phillips. Dr. Phillips was a gentle doctor who saw patients as people. His favorite patient was Edith Burns.

One morning he went to his office with a heavy heart and it was because of Edith Burns. When he walked into that waiting room, there sat Edith with her big black Bible in her lap earnestly talking to a young mother sitting beside her.

Edith Burns had a habit of introducing herself in this way: "Hello, my< BR>name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?" Then she would explain the meaning of Easter, and many times people would be saved.

Dr. Phillips walked into that office and there he saw the head nurse, Beverly. Beverly had first met Edith when she was taking her blood pressure. Edith began by saying, "My name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?"

Beverly said, "Why yes I do."

Edith said, "Well, what do you believe about Easter?"

Beverly said, "Well, it's all about egg hunts, going to church, and dressing up." Edith kept pressing her about the real meaning of Easter, and finally led her to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Dr. Phillips said, "Beverly, don't call Edith into the office quite yet. I believe there is another delivery taking place in the waiting room.

After being called back in the doctor's office, Edith sat down and when she took a look at the doctor she said, "Dr. Will, why are you so sad? Are you reading your Bible? Are you praying?"

Dr. Phillips said gently, "Edith, I'm the doctor and you're the patient." With a heavy heart he said, "Your lab report came back and it says you have cancer, and Edith, you're not going to live very long."

Edith said, "Why Will Phillips, shame on you. Why are you so sad? Do you think God makes mistakes? You have just told me I'm going to see my precious Lord Jesus, my husband, and my friends. You have just told me that I am going to celebrate Easter forever, and here you are having difficulty giving me my ticket!"

Dr. Phillips thought to himself, "What a magnificent woman this Edith Burns is!"

Edith continued coming to Dr. Phillips. Christmas came and the office was closed through January 3rd. On the day the office opened, Edith did not show up. Later that afternoon, Edith called Dr. Phillips and said she would have to be moving her story to the hospital and said, "Will, I'm very near home, so would you make sure that they put women in here next to me in my room who need to know about Easter."

Well, they did just that and women began to come in and share that room with Edith. Many women were saved. Everybody on that floor from staff to patients were so excited about Edith, that they started calling her Edith Easter; that is everyone except Phyllis Cross, the head nurse.

Phyllis made it plain that she wanted nothing to do with Edith because she was a "religious nut". She had been a nurse in an army hospital. She had seen it all and heard it all. She was the original G.I. Jane. She had been married three times, she was hard, cold, and did everything by the book.

One morning the two nurses who were to attend to Edith were sick.

Edith had the flu and Phyllis Cross had to go in and give her a shot. When she walked in, Edith had a big smile on her face and said, "Phyllis, God loves you and I love you, and I have been praying for you."

Phyllis Cross said, "Well, you can quit praying for me, it won't work. I'm not interested."

Edith said, "Well, I will pray and I have asked God not to let me go home until you come into the family."

Phyllis Cross said, "Then you will never die because that will never happen," and curtly walked out of the room.

Every day Phyllis Cross would walk into the room and Edith would say, "God loves you Phyllis and I love you, and I'm praying for you."

One day Phyllis Cross said she was literally drawn to Edith's room like a magnet would draw iron. She sat down on the bed and Edith said, "I'm so glad you have come, because God told me that today is your special day."

Phyllis Cross said, "Edith, you have asked everybody here the question, ‘Do you believe in Easter’, but you have never asked me."

Edith said, "Phyllis, I wanted to many times, but God told me to wait until you asked, and now that you have asked..." Edith Burns took her Bible and shared with Phyllis Cross the Easter Story of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Edith said, "Phyllis, do you believe in Easter? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is alive and that He wants to live in your heart?"

Phyllis Cross said, "Oh I want to believe that with all of my heart, and I do want Jesus in my life." Right there, Phyllis Cross prayed and invited Jesus Christ into her heart. For the first time Phyllis Cross did not walk out of a hospital room, she was carried out on the wings of angels.

Two days later, Phyllis Cross came in and Edith said, "Do you know what day it is?" Phyllis Cross said, "Why Edith, its Good Friday."

Edith said, "Oh, no, for you every day is Easter. Happy Easter Phyllis!"

Two days later, on Easter Sunday, Phyllis Cross came into work, did some of her duties and then went down to the flower shop and got some Easter lilies because she wanted to go up to see Edith and give her some Easter lilies and wish her a Happy Easter.

When she walked into Edith's room, Edith was in bed. That big black Bible was on her lap. Her hands were in that Bible. There was a sweet smile on her face. When Phyllis Cross went to pick up Edith's hand, she realized Edith was dead. Her left hand was on John 14: "In my Father's house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also."

Her right hand was on Revelation 21:4, "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

Phyllis Cross took one look at that dead body, and then lifted her face toward heaven, and with tears streaming down here cheeks, said, "Happy Easter, Edith - Happy Easter!"

Phyllis Cross left Edith's body, walked out of the room, and over to a table where two student nurses were sitting. She said, "My name is Phyllis Cross. Do you believe in Easter?"

Quotes

2008-04-26T16:00:00.003-05:00

Acronyms are Fun?

2008-04-23T07:33:00.001-05:00

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, 'T-G-I-F.'

He smiled at her and replied, 'S-H-I-T.' She looked puzzled and repeated, 'T-G-I-F,' more slowly. He again answered, 'S-H-I-T.'

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, 'T-G-I-F.' The man smiled back to her and once again, 'S-H-I-T.'

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. “T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?”

The man answered, ''S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday.'

The mind is like a parachute: It works better when it is open. - Author Unknown

(¯`v´¯)

`*.¸.*´

¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)

(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.

I Need to Remember This

2008-04-19T23:03:00.002-05:00

If you limit your choices to what seems possible,
you disconnect yourself from what you truly want.
All that is left is a compromise.
~ Robert Fritz

In the Classroom

2008-04-18T07:54:00.001-05:00

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE: I is...

TEACHER: No, Millie...Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right...'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me, do you say prayers before Eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, it's the same dog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

Huh???

2008-04-17T09:09:00.001-05:00

Guess who I heard on K102 yesterday??

Point of Grace!

I laughed, and then wondered WHY they were on a country radio station?

Rick & Holly 1

2008-04-15T18:43:00.004-05:00

The wedding shower for Rick and Holly...and videos!!

Father of the Groom Speech

Gift from Brother

PICTURES HERE.

Funnies

2008-04-15T18:40:00.002-05:00

Johnny's church

2008-04-14T07:21:00.001-05:00

Johnny's mother looked out the window and noticed him 'playing church' with their three kittens. He had the kittens sitting in a row, and he was preaching to them. She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the kittens in a tub of water. She called out, 'Johnny, stop that! Those kittens are afraid of water!'

Johnny looked up at her and said, 'They should have thought about that before they joined my church.'

New Jordan Movies and Pix

2008-04-11T20:29:00.003-05:00

Pillow Fight & More

In PJ's, reading & eating book

Pictures are HERE.

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

2008-04-04T15:19:00.001-05:00

Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness when she declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not.

2008-04-04T14:35:00.001-05:00

The Zen of Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

For the Students....

2008-04-02T21:33:00.001-05:00

Pick Your Fruit

2008-04-01T12:55:00.001-05:00

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They are:

A. Apple

B. Banana

C. Strawberry

D. Peach

E. Orange

Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot about you!

Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN

If you have chosen:

A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples.

B. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas.

C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries.

D. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches.

E. Orange: That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges.

I hope you find fulfillment in this new insight about yourself. May it bring you peace and understanding, tranquility and all that other profound stuff.

Recent Movies

2008-03-30T19:28:00.004-05:00

(If you have tried watching the disgrace video and it didn't work, sorry! I didn't realize it was TOO LONG!! It has now been split in two and the new videos are below :-D)

Jordan Clips

Jordan Rolls

Ryan & Co

bluer

disgrace

Happy Birthday, Janet!

2008-03-30T10:34:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday to someone
who is fun to hang out with!

Easter Egg Hunt of the Future

2008-03-30T10:32:00.001-05:00

Funny Stuff

2008-03-28T22:09:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite websites to visit is off the mark!

Fast Facts of the Day

2008-03-28T08:57:00.001-05:00

Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."

Cat urine glows under a black light.

The bulletproof vest, fire escape, windshield wipers and laser printer were all invented by women.

Pamela Anderson is Canada's Centennial Baby - the first baby born on the centennial anniversary of Canada's independence.

Paul Reiser plays the piano during the "Mad About You" theme song.

When possums are playing "possum," they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.

Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to power a television for three hours.

A jellyfish is 95 percent water.

In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals.

The mask worn by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

The King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache.

The only two days of the year on which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Baseball Game.

Stephen King sleeps with a nearby light on to calm his fear of the dark.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

When the French Academy was preparing its first dictionary, it defined "crab" as "a small red fish, which walks backwards."

Dr. Jack Kevorkian's first patient had Alzheimer's disease.

"Pennsylvania" is misspelled on the Liberty Bell.

Shakespeare is quoted 33,150 times in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Poland is the "stolen car capital of the world."

Pearls melt in vinegar.

A family of 26 could go to the movies in Mexico City for the price of one person in Tokyo.

Simplistic passwords contribute to over 80 percent of all computer password break-ins.

The Web site with the highest number of women visitors between the age of 35 and 44 is Alka-Seltzer.com.

Almost all U.S. presidents have worn glasses; some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public. Harry Truman was one of the few exceptions.

The first owner of the Marlboro cigarette brand died of lung cancer.

Saguaro Cactus native to the Sonoran Desert do not produce arms until they are 75 years of age or older.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

A common drink for Tibetans is Butter Tea which is made out of butter, salt, and brick tea.

95 percent of the entire lemon crop produced in the U.S. is from California and Arizona.

Trivia:

How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word?

How Ironic

2008-03-25T20:12:00.002-05:00

True Friend

2008-03-24T09:50:00.001-05:00

A true friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though they know you are slightly cracked.

The Sun is Out!

2008-03-20T16:05:00.001-05:00

Figure it Out

2008-03-20T13:26:00.000-05:00

There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the "International Home Show".

One of them was the father of the other's son.

How could this be possible?

Have You Read MSN Today?

2008-03-20T09:05:00.001-05:00

The French word for walkie-talkie is "talkie-walkie."

American Indians spoke more than 133 languages.

In England a cat is sometimes called a "moggy." Noses are "conks."

Michigan has more lighthouses than any other state, even though it does not border the ocean.

Tennessee got its name in 1796. Before then, it was known as Franklin.

Pound for pound, oysters have 20 times as much cholesterol as eggs.

The darker green a vegetable is, the more vitamin C it contains.

The older you get, the slower your hair grows.

Aspirin has never been approved by the FDA. It has never been rejected, either.

Crushed cockroaches, when applied to a stinging wound, are said to ease the pain.

Sixty-one percent of American students find school boring.

If you're an average blinker, your eyes will be blinked shut for about 30 minutes today.

The most common name for male dogs and cats in the United States is Max.

Parisian law forbids spinning tops on sidewalks and staring at the mayor.

"We Three Kings of Orient Are," which tells the Biblical story of Matthew 2:1-11, was written in 1857 by John Henry Hopkins as a Christmas present for his nieces and nephews.

Alabama's waterways were once home to so many small reptiles that it became known as "The Lizard State."

The Pentagon cost $50 million to build.

The largest landlocked country in the world is Mongolia.

Forty people every minute are sent to the hospital for dog bites in the United States.

The permanent teeth that erupt to replace the baby teeth are called succedaneous teeth.

Winston Churchill once said of death: "I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

The English syllable -ough can be pronounced nine different ways. One sentence that contains them all is: "A roughcoated, dough-faced thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough and after falling into his slough he coughed and hiccoughed."

In ancient Greece, writing had no space between the words.

A narcotic liquid was once found in the center portion of heads of lettuce, a natural occurrence that was bred out of the vegetable over several decades.

As a child, Queen Victoria had a sprig of holly placed below her collar to remind her to keep her chin up.

When Jules Verne first serialized his novel "Around the World in Eighty Days," there were people who believed the race in the book was really happening and placed bets on it.

If you stand with your eyes about 6 feet above the surface of the ocean, the horizon will be about three miles away.

Nearly 80 percent of the surface area of the Sahara Desert isn't sand but exposed rock.

There are only three types of snake on the island of Tasmania, and all are deadly poisonous.

The only U.S. survivor of the Battle of Little Bighorn was an Army horse named Comanche.

Hard hats were invented in 1919.

Question?

2008-03-14T13:48:00.001-05:00

A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts.
The child is not a United States citizen

How is this possible?

Sometimes....

2008-03-13T09:00:00.001-05:00

....talking to an actual person helps!

I have been trying for 3 days to get a shipment ready to send to Janet (yay!). I know the web is s’pose to help get things done faster, but this time it just caused too many headaches and troubles and money. Next time I will drive to the post office!

The people I talked to at the post office were far more helpful in 2 minutes then the USPS website was in 3 days!!!

Good news, tho...the package will be on it’s way in about an hour when our postman comes!!!!!!!!

You Just Gotta Admire Nature: Dogs Attack Gator

2008-03-11T09:53:00.000-05:00

Dog Pack Attacks Gator in Florida!

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the 'apex predator', can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and 'survival of the pack mentality' bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

Not for the squeamish!

Laughter is good for the soul.

Have a Great Day!

Why did Jesus fold his napkin?

2008-03-07T12:37:00.001-06:00

Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection?

The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes.
The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded and was placed at the head of that stony coffin.
Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.
She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved.
She said, "They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!"
Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple out ran Peter and got there first.
He stooped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in. Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside.
He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus head was folded up and lying to the side.
Is that important?
Absolutely! Is it really significant?
Yes!
In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day.
The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every Jewish boy knew this tradition.
When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.
The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table until the master was finished.
Now if the master was done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers and mouth with that napkin and toss it on to the table.
The servant would then know to clear the table.
For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, "I'm done."
But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant knew that the folded napkin meant,
"I'm not finished yet." The folded napkin meant, "I'm coming back!"

IF YOU BELIEVE HE IS COMING BACK - PASS IT ON, I DID!

fast facts

2008-03-07T08:51:00.000-06:00

• Abdul Kassem Ismael, Grand Vizier of Persia in the 10th century, carried his library with him wherever he went. The 117,000 volumes were carried by 400 camels who were trained to walk in alphabetical order.

• Quebec and Newfoundland are the only two Canadian provinces which do not allow personalized license plates.

• In English the word "four" is the only digit that has the same number of letters as its value.

• Pittsburgh and Toronto are the only two cities where all the major pro sports teams have the same colors: "black and gold" and "blue and white" respectively.

• In British Monopoly sets, the most expensive property (Mayfair) is not a street, but a district of small streets near Hyde Park.

No president of the United States has been an only child.

The original name for Scrabble was "Criss-Crosswords."

On a Canadian $2 bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English alphabet.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

Vatican City is the smallest country in the world, with a population of 1,000 and a size of 108.7 acres.

"I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The average chocolate bar has eight insects' legs in it.

I Wanna go Home

2008-03-06T19:33:00.002-06:00

Now, just to figure out where 'HOME' is.....

her glass eye

2008-03-03T10:34:00.000-06:00

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!

'You know, 'he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? '

'No, 'she replies. . . '

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

I was wondering......

2008-02-28T07:17:00.000-06:00

I was wondering....

Is it SPRING yet?

Sending Her Off

2008-02-20T11:33:00.001-06:00

Well, in 30 minutes of this post, the first leg of Janet’s trip to New Zealand will start. How exciting!!!!

Excellent Legal Advice

2008-02-13T07:27:00.000-06:00

Excellent Legal Advice
From a Corporate Attorney
ATTORNEY'S ADVICE-----NO CHARGE
Our corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees at his company.

1. The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your checkbook, they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name, but your bank will know how you sign your checks.

2. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put 'PHOTO ID REQUIRED.'

3. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the 'For' line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check-processing channels will not have access to it.

4. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box, use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a PO Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks, (DUH!). You can add it if it is necessary. However, if you have it printed, anyone can get it.

5. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. Also carry a photocopy of your passport when traveling either here or abroad. We have all heard horror stories about fraud that is committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards.

6. When you check out of a hotel that uses cards for keys (and they all seem to do that now), do not turn the 'keys' in. Take them with you and destroy them. Those little cards have on them all of the information you gave the hotel, including address and credit card numbers and expiration dates. Someone with a card reader, or employee of the hotel, can access all that information with no problem whatsoever.

Unfortunately, as an attorney, I have first hand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer and received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online. Here is some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:

1. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. The key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.

2. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one). However, here is what is perhaps most important of all (I never even thought to do this.)

3. Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name. The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit. By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.

Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet and contents being stolen:

1.) Equifax: 1-800-525-6285

2.) Experience (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742

3.) TransUnion: 1-800-680-7289

4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271

The Chemistry Prof

2008-02-06T07:15:00.000-06:00

At Penn State University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to State College until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day.

The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam. The Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was going to be easy.... then they turned the page.

On the second page was written....

For 95 points: Which tire?

Why, Why, Why???

2008-02-05T07:23:00.001-06:00

Why, Why, Why ???

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid ass?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Screen Cleaning

2008-01-24T15:15:00.000-06:00

Is your computer screen dirty? Click this to have it cleaned: http://www.linein.org/media/screenclean.swf

Government Health Warning--Chewing Gum

2008-01-23T07:12:00.001-06:00

GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING
DO NOT SWALLOW YOUR CHEWING-GUM

See what happens?

In Shock

2008-01-22T17:09:00.000-06:00

Heath Ledger is dead. Dead.

I am feeling a bit...shocked.

NEW YORK — Actor Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday at his downtown Manhattan apartment, according to the New York City Police Department. He was 28.

NYPD spokeswoman Stephanie Jaramillo told FOXNews.com that Ledger was discovered by his housekeeper at his apartment at 421 Broome Street in the Soho section of New York City and was pronounced dead at 3:35 p.m. EST.

Jaramillo declined to comment on the cause of death, saying only that "the investigation is still ongoing."

FOLLOWING IS A N-Y-P-D NEWS RELEASE ON TODAY'S SITUATION INVOLVING HEATH LEDGER: ON TUESDAY, 01/22/08, AT APPROXIMATELY 1530 HOURS, IN THE CONFINES OF THE 5 PRECINCT, POLICE RESPONDED TO 421 BROOME STREET AND FOUND A M/W/28 UNCONSCIOUS. THE VICTIM WAS PRONOUNCED DOA AT THE SCENE. M.E.'S OFFICE TO DETERMINE THE CAUSE OF DEATH. INVESTIGATION CONTINUES.

But The New York Post reported that Ledger died of a possible drug overdose and his apartment was strewn with pills.

Law enforcement has confirmed to celebrity gossip site TMZ.com that his death was accidental, prescription pills were found in his bedroom and he was face down on the floor when his housekeeper discovered him. The autopsy is scheduled for Wednesday, according to TMZ.

Click here for photos.

Ledger had an appointment for a massage at his Manhattan apartment, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne told The Associated Press. The housekeeper went to let Ledger know the masseuse had arrived and found him dead, according to Browne.

The apartment is listed as a three-bedroom Soho loft with a rent of $23,000, according to real estate broker Corcoran.

The Australian-born actor was nominated for an Oscar for "Brokeback Mountain," where he met his former girlfriend, actress Michelle Williams, in 2005. Ledger and Williams lived in Brooklyn and had a daughter, Matilda, until they split up last year.

Ledger's roles include the suicidal son of Billy Bob Thornton in "Monster's Ball" and starring turns in "A Knight's Tale" and "The Patriot." He was to appear as the Joker this year in "The Dark Night," a sequel to 2005's "Batman Begins."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Priceless

2008-01-22T13:16:00.001-06:00

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

Yay!

2008-01-18T16:30:00.000-06:00

I am now the proud owner of a Savings Account!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Wish For You In 2008

2008-01-03T12:56:00.001-06:00

My Wish For 2008

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address!

In simple words ............

May 2008 be the best year of your life!!!

After serious & cautious consideration....

your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2008!

It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!

2007-12-20T08:28:00.000-06:00

Christmas invitation

2007-12-17T07:21:00.001-06:00

This is what it is all about, but we forget sometimes.

Christmas invitation!

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

2007-12-10T07:43:00.000-06:00

How smart is Your Right Foot?
(If you are left handed, use your left foot)

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon............This will boggle
your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can
outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!

1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift
your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right
Hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so !!! And there's nothing you can do about it !!!!

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are
going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

For Those Who Know Everything

2007-12-10T07:39:00.001-06:00

· The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

· No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait...

· Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks.

· You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

· Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

· The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

· The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE

· American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

· Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)

· Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

· Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

· The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."

· Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

· PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR!

· The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

· It is possible to lead a cow up stairs...but not down stairs.

· A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

· Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

· Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." (who thinks up this stuff???) The second? William Jefferson Clinton.

· And the best for last....

· Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Awwww...Leave it to a Kid!

2007-12-05T10:55:00.001-06:00

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the crèche when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. He hurried outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get your passenger, my fine friend?"

The little boy replied, "I got Him at church."

"And why did you take Him?"

The boy explained, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told Him if He would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give Him a ride around the block in it."

An Early MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

Thankful

2007-12-02T10:51:00.000-06:00

My Thanksgivings are not like this. Yes, I see family, but I am happy to see them, on Thanksgiving Day and every other day I see them!

Donuts and Flour Fights

2007-12-01T16:13:00.000-06:00

Our tasty donuts.

Got by Mom.

Got by Janet and Kandi

Got by Kandi.

Got by Kandi

i guess this means i win?

don't worry - no flour or donuts were hurt today!

see the rest here....

Oh Dear

2007-11-27T20:37:00.001-06:00

Warning To All Dog Owners

2007-11-27T07:36:00.000-06:00

Warning to all dog owners:

Watch your dog!

The State Highway Patrol in conjunction with the FBI has issued a warning advising all dog owners to keep their dogs indoors until further notice. Dogs are being picked off one at a time on an almost continual basis throughout the city. They are falling in great numbers. Police in the city advise all dog owners not to walk their dogs - KEEP THEM INDOORS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!