I like the internet too much. I cannot just not use it, even if I have nothing to do. I sit there surfing mindlessly and wasting time.
Well, no more!! I no longer have internet at home. Not only will I save $50/month, but I won’t be able to waste my time! (or watch NCIS, CSI Miami, Burn Notice or Chuck online L).
We will see if I survive this month.....
So, this bird walks into a store..... Marinette, WI
A seagull in Marinette, WI has developed the habit of stealing Doritos from a neighborhood convenience store.
The seagull waits until the Manager isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos. Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Marinette, WI, and helped himself to a bag of Doritos. Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.
The Manager thinks it's great because people are coming to watch the feathered thief make the daily grab and run, and that's good for business, and especially since customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of Doritos because they think it's so funny. However, the Manager did say, 'This is Wisconsin, and if that seagull starts to grab a 6-pac to go along with the Doritos, I may have to put a stop to it.'
When you have an 'I Hate My Job day' [even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days] try this out:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson
is personally tested and then sanitized. '
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, 'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'
HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A** THAN YOURS!
