I was wondering......

I was wondering....
   
 

 
Is it SPRING yet?

Sending Her Off

Well, in 30 minutes of this post, the first leg of Janet’s trip to New Zealand will start. How exciting!!!!

Excellent Legal Advice

Excellent Legal Advice
From a Corporate Attorney
ATTORNEY'S ADVICE-----NO CHARGE
Our corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees at his company.

1.  The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them.  If someone takes your checkbook, they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name, but your bank will know how you sign your checks.

2.  Do not sign the back of your credit cards.  Instead, put 'PHOTO ID REQUIRED.'

3.  When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the 'For' line.  Instead, just put the last four numbers.  The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check-processing channels will not have access to it.

4.  Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone.  If you have a PO Box, use that instead of your home address.  If you do not have a PO Box, use your work address.  Never have your SS# printed on your checks, (DUH!).  You can add it if it is necessary.  However, if you have it printed, anyone can get it.

5.  Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine.  Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc.  You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place.  Also carry a photocopy of your passport when traveling either here or abroad.  We have all heard horror stories about fraud that is committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards.

6.  When you check out of a hotel that uses cards for keys (and they all seem to do that now), do not turn the 'keys' in.  Take them with you and destroy them.  Those little cards have on them all of the information you gave the hotel, including address and credit card numbers and expiration dates.  Someone with a card reader, or employee of the hotel, can access all that information with no problem whatsoever.

Unfortunately, as an attorney, I have first hand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month.  Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer and received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online.  Here is some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:

1.  We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. The key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call.  Keep those where you can find them.

2.  File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen.  This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).  However, here is what is perhaps most important of all (I never even thought to do this.)

3.  Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number.  I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name.  The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.  By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done.  There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in).  It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.

Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet and contents being stolen:

1.) Equifax: 1-800-525-6285

2.) Experience (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742

3.) TransUnion: 1-800-680-7289

4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271

The Chemistry Prof

At Penn State University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to State College until early Monday morning.

 

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that they would explain to their professor why they missed it.  They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire.  As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day.

 

The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.  The Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points.  Cool, they thought!  Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was going to be easy.... then they turned the page.

 

On the second page was written....

 

For 95 points:  Which tire?

Why, Why, Why???

Why, Why, Why ???

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid ass?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Screen Cleaning

Is your computer screen dirty? Click this to have it cleaned: http://www.linein.org/media/screenclean.swf

 

Government Health Warning--Chewing Gum

GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING DO NOT SWALLOW YOUR CHEWING-GUM         See what happens?

 

In Shock

Heath Ledger is dead. Dead.

I am feeling a bit...shocked.



NEW YORK — Actor Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday at his downtown Manhattan apartment, according to the New York City Police Department. He was 28.

NYPD spokeswoman Stephanie Jaramillo told FOXNews.com that Ledger was discovered by his housekeeper at his apartment at 421 Broome Street in the Soho section of New York City and was pronounced dead at 3:35 p.m. EST.

Jaramillo declined to comment on the cause of death, saying only that "the investigation is still ongoing."

FOLLOWING IS A N-Y-P-D NEWS RELEASE ON TODAY'S SITUATION INVOLVING HEATH LEDGER: ON TUESDAY, 01/22/08, AT APPROXIMATELY 1530 HOURS, IN THE CONFINES OF THE 5 PRECINCT, POLICE RESPONDED TO 421 BROOME STREET AND FOUND A M/W/28 UNCONSCIOUS. THE VICTIM WAS PRONOUNCED DOA AT THE SCENE. M.E.'S OFFICE TO DETERMINE THE CAUSE OF DEATH. INVESTIGATION CONTINUES.

But The New York Post reported that Ledger died of a possible drug overdose and his apartment was strewn with pills.

Law enforcement has confirmed to celebrity gossip site TMZ.com that his death was accidental, prescription pills were found in his bedroom and he was face down on the floor when his housekeeper discovered him. The autopsy is scheduled for Wednesday, according to TMZ.

Click here for photos.

Ledger had an appointment for a massage at his Manhattan apartment, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne told The Associated Press. The housekeeper went to let Ledger know the masseuse had arrived and found him dead, according to Browne.

The apartment is listed as a three-bedroom Soho loft with a rent of $23,000, according to real estate broker Corcoran.

The Australian-born actor was nominated for an Oscar for "Brokeback Mountain," where he met his former girlfriend, actress Michelle Williams, in 2005. Ledger and Williams lived in Brooklyn and had a daughter, Matilda, until they split up last year.

Ledger's roles include the suicidal son of Billy Bob Thornton in "Monster's Ball" and starring turns in "A Knight's Tale" and "The Patriot." He was to appear as the Joker this year in "The Dark Night," a sequel to 2005's "Batman Begins."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Priceless

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

Yay!

I am now the proud owner of a Savings Account!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Wish For You In 2008

My Wish For 2008

 

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address!

 

In simple words ............

May 2008 be the best year of your life!!!

 

 

 

After serious & cautious consideration....

your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2008!

It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!

 

 

 

Christmas invitation

This is what it is all about, but we forget sometimes.

 

Christmas invitation!

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

How smart is Your Right Foot?
(If you are left handed, use your left foot)  

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon............This will boggle
your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can
outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!

1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift
your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right
Hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so !!! And there's nothing you can do about it !!!!

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are
going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

For Those Who Know Everything

·   The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

·   No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait...

·   Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. 

·   You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

·   Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

·   The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

·   The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE

·   American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

·   Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)

·   Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

·   Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

·   The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."

·   Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

·   PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR!

·   The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

·   It is possible to lead a cow up stairs...but not down stairs.

·   A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

·   Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

·   Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." (who thinks up this stuff???) The second? William Jefferson Clinton.

·   And the best for last....

·   Turtles can breathe through their butts.

 

Awwww...Leave it to a Kid!

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the crèche when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. He hurried outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get your passenger, my fine friend?"

The little boy replied, "I got Him at church."

"And why did you take Him?"

The boy explained, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told Him if He would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give Him a ride around the block in it."

An Early MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

Thankful

My Thanksgivings are not like this. Yes, I see family, but I am happy to see them, on Thanksgiving Day and every other day I see them!

Donuts and Flour Fights

Our tasty donuts.


Got by Mom.


Got by Janet and Kandi



Got by Kandi.


Got by Kandi



i guess this means i win?



don't worry - no flour or donuts were hurt today!

see the rest here....

Oh Dear

Warning To All Dog Owners

Warning to all dog owners:

Watch your dog!

The State Highway Patrol in conjunction with the FBI has issued a warning advising all dog owners to keep their dogs indoors until further notice. Dogs are being picked off one at a time on an almost continual basis throughout the city. They are falling in great numbers. Police in the city advise all dog owners not to walk their dogs - KEEP THEM INDOORS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!