April 30, 2008

FAKE vs. REAL

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food

 

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. / Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

 

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you

 

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours

 

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you

REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you

 

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

 

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say 'I'M HOME!'

 

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life

 

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock out the person that talked bad about you

Edith Easter

Edith Burns was a wonderful Christian who lived in San Antonio, Texas. She was the patient of a doctor by the name of Will Phillips. Dr. Phillips was a gentle doctor who saw patients as people. His favorite patient was Edith Burns.

 

One morning he went to his office with a heavy heart and it was because of Edith Burns.  When he walked into that waiting room, there sat Edith with her big black Bible in her lap earnestly talking to a young mother sitting beside her.

 

Edith Burns had a habit of introducing herself in this way: "Hello, my< BR>name is Edith Burns.  Do you believe in Easter?" Then she would explain the meaning of Easter, and many times people would be saved.

 

Dr. Phillips walked into that office and there he saw the head nurse, Beverly. Beverly had first met Edith when she was taking her blood pressure. Edith began by saying, "My name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?"

 

Beverly said, "Why yes I do."

 

Edith said, "Well, what do you believe about Easter?"

 

Beverly said, "Well, it's all about egg hunts, going to church, and dressing up."  Edith kept pressing her about the real meaning of Easter, and finally led her to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

 

Dr. Phillips said, "Beverly, don't call Edith into the office quite yet. I believe there is another delivery taking place in the waiting room.

 

After being called back in the doctor's office, Edith sat down and when she took a look at the doctor she said, "Dr. Will, why are you so sad? Are you reading your Bible?  Are you praying?"

 

Dr. Phillips said gently, "Edith, I'm the doctor and you're the patient." With a heavy heart he said, "Your lab report came back and it says you have cancer, and Edith, you're not going to live very long."

 

Edith said, "Why Will Phillips, shame on you. Why are you so sad? Do you think God makes mistakes?  You have just told me I'm going to see my precious Lord Jesus, my husband, and my friends. You have just told me that I am going to celebrate Easter forever, and here you are having difficulty giving me my ticket!"

 

Dr. Phillips thought to himself, "What a magnificent woman this Edith Burns is!"

 

Edith continued coming to Dr. Phillips. Christmas came and the office was closed through January 3rd. On the day the office opened, Edith did not show up.  Later that afternoon, Edith called Dr. Phillips and said she would have to be moving her story to the hospital and said, "Will, I'm very near home, so would you make sure that they put women in here next to me in my room who need to know about Easter."

 

Well, they did just that and women began to come in and share that room with Edith.  Many women were saved. Everybody on that floor from staff to patients were so excited about Edith, that they started calling her Edith Easter; that is everyone except Phyllis Cross, the head nurse.

 

Phyllis made it plain that she wanted nothing to do with Edith because she was a "religious nut". She had been a nurse in an army hospital. She had seen it all and heard it all. She was the original G.I. Jane. She had been married three times, she was hard, cold, and did everything by the book.

 

One morning the two nurses who were to attend to Edith were sick.

 

Edith had the flu and Phyllis Cross had to go in and give her a shot. When she walked in, Edith had a big smile on her face and said, "Phyllis, God loves you and I love you, and I have been praying for you."

 

Phyllis Cross said, "Well, you can quit praying for me, it won't work. I'm not interested."

 

Edith said, "Well, I will pray and I have asked God not to let me go home until you come into the family."

 

Phyllis Cross said, "Then you will never die because that will never happen," and curtly walked out of the room.

 

Every day Phyllis Cross would walk into the room and Edith would say, "God loves you Phyllis and I love you, and I'm praying for you."

 

One day Phyllis Cross said she was literally drawn to Edith's room like a magnet would draw iron. She sat down on the bed and Edith said, "I'm so glad you have come, because God told me that today is your special day."

 

Phyllis Cross said, "Edith, you have asked everybody here the question, ‘Do you believe in Easter’, but you have never asked me."

 

Edith said, "Phyllis, I wanted to many times, but God told me to wait until you asked, and now that you have asked..." Edith Burns took her Bible and shared with Phyllis Cross the Easter Story of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Edith said, "Phyllis, do you believe in Easter? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is alive and that He wants to live in your heart?"

 

Phyllis Cross said, "Oh I want to believe that with all of my heart, and I do want Jesus in my life." Right there, Phyllis Cross prayed and invited Jesus Christ into her heart. For the first time Phyllis Cross did not walk out of a hospital room, she was carried out on the wings of angels.

 

Two days later, Phyllis Cross came in and Edith said, "Do you know what day it is?" Phyllis Cross said, "Why Edith, its Good Friday."

 

Edith said, "Oh, no, for you every day is Easter.  Happy Easter Phyllis!"

 

Two days later, on Easter Sunday, Phyllis Cross came into work, did some of her duties and then went down to the flower shop and got some Easter lilies because she wanted to go up to see Edith and give her some Easter lilies and wish her a Happy Easter.

 

When she walked into Edith's room, Edith was in bed. That big black Bible was on her lap.  Her hands were in that Bible. There was a sweet smile on her face. When Phyllis Cross went to pick up Edith's hand, she realized Edith was dead. Her left hand was on John 14: "In my Father's house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also."

 

Her right hand was on Revelation 21:4, "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

 

Phyllis Cross took one look at that dead body, and then lifted her face toward heaven, and with tears streaming down here cheeks, said, "Happy Easter, Edith - Happy Easter!"

 

Phyllis Cross left Edith's body, walked out of the room, and over to a table where two student nurses were sitting. She said, "My name is Phyllis Cross. Do you believe in Easter?"

 

April 23, 2008

Acronyms are Fun?

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, 'T-G-I-F.'

 

He smiled at her and replied, 'S-H-I-T.' She looked puzzled and repeated, 'T-G-I-F,' more slowly. He again answered, 'S-H-I-T.'

 

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, 'T-G-I-F.' The man smiled back to her and once again, 'S-H-I-T.'

 

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. “T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?”

The man answered, ''S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday.'

 

The mind is like a parachute: It works better when it is open.  - Author Unknown

 

(¯`v´¯)

`*.¸.*´

¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)

(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.

April 19, 2008

I Need to Remember This

If you limit your choices to what seems possible,
you disconnect yourself from what you truly want.
All that is left is a compromise.
~ Robert Fritz

April 18, 2008

In the Classroom

TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA:          Here it is.

TEACHER:    Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS:          Maria.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:            You told me to do it without using tables.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L

TEACHER:    No, that's wrong

GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:      H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:    What are you talking about?

DONALD:      Yesterday you said it's H to O. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:         Me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:            Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE:           I is...

TEACHER:    No, Millie...Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE:           All right...'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS:           Because George still had the ax in his hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    Now, Simon, tell me, do you say prayers before Eating?

SIMON:          No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.  Did you copy his?

CLYDE:         No, it's the same dog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:      A teacher.

 

April 17, 2008

Huh???

Guess who I heard on K102 yesterday??

 

Point of Grace!

 

I laughed, and then wondered WHY they were on a country radio station?

April 15, 2008

Rick & Holly 1

The wedding shower for Rick and Holly...and videos!!

Father of the Groom Speech


Gift from Brother


PICTURES HERE.

Funnies





April 14, 2008

Johnny's church

Johnny's mother looked out the window and noticed him 'playing church' with their three kittens. He had the kittens sitting in a row, and he was preaching to them. She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the kittens in a tub of water. She called out, 'Johnny, stop that! Those kittens are afraid of water!'

Johnny looked up at her and said, 'They should have thought about that before they joined my church.'

 

 

 

April 11, 2008

New Jordan Movies and Pix

Pillow Fight & More



In PJ's, reading & eating book


Pictures are HERE.

April 04, 2008

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness when she declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not.

The Zen of Sarcasm

 

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

April 01, 2008

Pick Your Fruit

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They are:

 

A. Apple

B. Banana

C. Strawberry

D. Peach

E. Orange

 

Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot about you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you have chosen:

A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples.

B. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas.

C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries.

D. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches.

E. Orange: That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges.

 

I hope you find fulfillment in this new insight about yourself.  May it bring you peace and understanding, tranquility and all that other profound stuff.