April 18, 2008

In the Classroom

TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA:          Here it is.

TEACHER:    Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS:          Maria.

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TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:            You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER:    Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L

TEACHER:    No, that's wrong

GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

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TEACHER:    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:      H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:    What are you talking about?

DONALD:      Yesterday you said it's H to O. 

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TEACHER:    Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:         Me!

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TEACHER:    Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:            Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE:           I is...

TEACHER:    No, Millie...Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE:           All right...'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

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TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS:           Because George still had the ax in his hand.

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TEACHER:    Now, Simon, tell me, do you say prayers before Eating?

SIMON:          No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER:    Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.  Did you copy his?

CLYDE:         No, it's the same dog.

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TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:      A teacher.

 

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